"Let me put some pants on."

Asian 1: You're going on an IV leadership retreat?
Pretentious Camel: Yeah.
Asian 1: Why?
Pretentious Camel: They wanna make sure none of us have died.
Asian 1: You can't say that - people actually get cancer.
Pretentious Camel: No one in IV has cancer.
Asian 1: You don't know that.
Pretentious Camel: Fine. No one in IV publically has cancer.
Asian 1: Well, what if I got cancer? Would you be sad?
Pretentious Camel: [Thinks - Actually, I'm writing this with the help of P.C. and he says that I should have put Ruminates] Yeah, I would be.
Asian 1: [Touched] Really?
Pretentious Camel: Well. Yes. Actually, I would probably laugh first, but I would cry on the inside.
Asian 1: Not uh. You would laugh. I bet if I really got cancer, I'd tell you and you'd just laugh.
Pretentious Camel: That's only because I would think you were joking.
Asian 1: [Throws banana] Now I'm mad at you. You would laugh. Gah.

1 pot of pop-it-yourself-Orville Redenbacher-popping corn + 1 rat named Ratatouille + 1 ginger + 1 trash can kicking ballerina = the rest of my evening. Peace out, fools.