Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Drunk Rastafarians Eating Armadillo Meat: A lesson on tact.

Walking down a darkened street. At night. In Mexico City. Avoiding robbery:
G: I have SO much money!

Post soccer game:
5_: I do know one thing in Spanish! Aloha!

Dinner:
A1: Quiero... quisiera guac and chi-chi?

Bullfight. Three rows behind a Jewish woman:
5_: She's Jewish.
A1: WHO'S JEWISH?!

Airplane:
A1: I'm feeling hot and bothered.
5_: Is it Jonathan?
A1: No, it's whoever's in front of me that I can't see.
G: ... that's five year old girl.

Stuffing cracker packets down the front of his shirt. Restaurant:
A1: Lime and Brandy? That's SO classless.

Witty banter from the cockpit:
Captain: Be sure to turn off your BlackBerrys, blueberries, raspberries, and unplug your George Foreman grills.

After not eating anything all day:
Flight attendant: We're happy to offer you three choices for your on-flight snack tonight: peanuts, cookies, or cheese crackers.
5_: YES! Let's each get one and share 'em!
Flight attendant: Actually. Just peanuts, bitches.
(Okay, she didn't really say that, but G really wanted her to.)

Looking out the plane window:
Woman with fugged-out mensies-colored hair: This is like, ya know, when you're flipping through the channels and you're like, "Wait, whoa - what was that?"
A1: No. No, it's not like that at all.

Final thoughts:
A1: I really hope that man got to have his booty call.
G: Ya know, some people wish for a safe flight, or that people get to be home with their families, but no.

2 comments:

fiercest said...

the captain on my flight from philadelphia to rdu:

"seriously, folks. if you have something battery powered and currently giving you pleasure, please turn it off."

Abby said...

I love sound bytes, particularly ones from your crazy, world-traveling trio. Glad you all had a lovely time and that you made it back without losing one of the party to human trafficking or drug wars. (Although I'm sure you came close...)